jokeKing logo
avatar og-lollercopter 4 day.ago

A guys gets pulled over for speeding….

The cop says to the man: - Do you know that you were speeding, sir? - No officer, I didn't know I was speeding... The wife then says: - Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I've been telling you to slow down for miles. The man shoots a dark look at his wife, then the cop says: - Well, since I've got you pulled over, do you know that the tag on your license plate is expired? - No sir, I did not know that... The wife says: - Oh please, Henry! I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now! The husband grinds his teeth but keeps silent. The cop then adds: - And I noticed that you left rear lights weren't working either. - Oh yes, I was on my way to get them changed, actually. The wife says: - Nonsense, we were going home. You keep saying it doesn't need to be changed, that the other drivers can see you well enough. The man explodes with anger: - WILL YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMN PIEHOLE, YOU BITCH? The cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her: - Does he always talk to you this way? - Oh no, officer, only when he's been drinking.

2165
56
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. True story

Riding in my wife's car and there is a high top shoe laying in the street. As she drives by it, in say " missed it by a foot!". My other choice was to say like a sneeze," a shoe!".

2. Why did Karen press Ctrl + Alt + Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager

3. Old McDonald was getting bored at the farm, and decided to start selling clothing to old women.

Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a Moo Moo!

4. My buddy has a tattoo that says "Comparison is the thief of joy"

So I went and got the same one, but a little bigger.

5. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?

Cause they have fat, chubby fingers! ☝️👃🦍

6. I tried pushing the envelope

… but it remained stationary.

7. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo

I had to put my foot down.

8. What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Robert-o

9. What did the snail say on the turtles back?

Weeeeeeeee!

10. I was trying to tell my son the story about the time I threw a broken boomerang…

…but it wasn’t coming back to me.

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆